Disclaimer: Forgive me for staying away for so long.
I am six days into my EAT PRAY LOVE Journey and I would like to use the words, amazing, refreshing and recluse to describe where I am right now.
I will admit it has been a little shaky but I am pulling through.
What is my EAT PRAY LOVE Journey and why am I doing this? I will answer those two questions in this blog.
I will probably make this certain subject an ongoing blog since it is a learning experience for me.
What is my EAT PRAY LOVE journey?
It was my publicist that suggested I watch the movie and read the book EAT PRAY LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert. First let me say this movie changed my life, I am one of those people that watch movies and do other things while I am watching it but no…not EAT PRAY LOVE it captured my attention. There were so many hidden gems in this story it was ridiculous! Literally, every other scene I was finding myself. I was connecting with Liz (Julia Roberts) she was I and I was she.
Therefore, I definitely encourage any woman that is looking for the next step, a sign or wonder or just some confirmation for where they are and where they are trying to be. This movie was everything I expected it to be plus more. The book has been a different experience but that is with any book turned movie, in my opinion.
Therefore, after finishing the movie I spent the next few hours reading multiple blogs on how women have explained how Eat Pray Love wrecked their life, changed their daily routine and inspired them. Wow, I mean there were so many different articles. The time was about four in the am and I found myself not being able to sleep.. but if you live in my house, you know that we are all entrepreneurs so basically no one sleeps anyway, I went downstairs and my mom was up making coffee and watching documentaries on real estate. I went to sit beside her to share what I had just found…the blogs on the internet.
I told her, “mama man it is so amazing to see how different woman from all types of walks of life got from the movie” Some I could relate to and some I could not but it was still an awe moment to see how many people were inspired by this movie just as I was.
WHAT IS MY EAT PRAY LOVE JOURNEY?
I entered a place where I had become stagnant, comfortable and complacent; if I am allowed to be; honest…I had become fuckin miserable. I would sit at my computer for hours typing, no music no nothing just watching words appear across the screen. The “me” was not in anything I was writing, I allowed my passion, my hobby, my aspiration to be a job….and I was not happy.
I was overexerting myself to meet invisible deadlines for money.
When did I ever care so much about money?
I had a great life, my childhood was perfect, my parents are well-off so money has never really been a concern of mine.
My parents don’t worship money or hard labor. My parents don’tgo to a job and slave every day. In fact, it was not until recently that I saw my parents come from their bedrooms before noon. Growing up, in a home that encouraged you to reach for the stars and never give up was pretty cool. I always said my parents were like modern day hippies, literally lol!
They work for themselves; my daddy will tell you he has never had a job or a boss. He was a millionaire at twenty-one…so this is what I see, this is what I know. Hustle is around me.
However, one thing I never saw my daddy do was complain.
He loved what he did. he didn’t allow life to get him upside down. In fact, nothing makes him mad lol he isn’t easily moved by people or things.
But me? I was losing myself, I was losing sleep I was sacrificing the good things like spending time with the few friends I do have, I wasn’t having sex, I wasn’t even communicating with people, if it wasn’t my test readers or my publisher you wouldn’t hear from me
I turned into a robot, man I was finishing books in a matter of six days, full-length books at that.
Even now on my EAT PRAY LOVE journey, I’m finishing books back to back. I’m just grinding right now and I love it.
But! I had to pull back
I forgot that I was human and that I was real and I was beginning to lose myself.
My sanity was stolen and the NAKO in Nakoreya was slowly disappearing.
So before, I lost my mind. I started my EAT PRAY LOVE JOURNEY.
There was not a big announcement on my social media because in God’s word he tells you to fast in secret and allow Him to do the rest
I freed myself from any and every distraction.
I came home to Atlanta. I packed my car with tons of clothes and most importantly my bible, black soap and laptop = three things that I refuse to live without.
I stopped conversations with people and I knew it was like “dang I had just talked to you yesterday” what happened….but it wasn’t worth an explanation
I had to get myself together.
I came to Atlanta, my mother burned sage, and as we sipped coffee, she listened and allowed me to talk. I told her… “ma I am twenty-two and I feel like I am having a mid-life crisis”
When did it ever become wrong to want more out of life?
I asked her is it something wrong with me to want to make twenty thousand dollars a month, is it wrong of me to think I am better, and is it wrong for me to want to shift into a different arena.
No I don’t think I’m better than you, no I don’t think I’m this awesome ass writer that deserves awards and recognition but I do believe that ive outgrown the space that I’m in, so does that make me a bad person.
I believe in growth and I believe in my craft and I had become comfortable with being mediocre I went from feeling like the man of the year to the bottom of the barrel….this was my mindset this is how I felt.
I stopped. I let go. I disconnected. I threw up, I cried, I had headaches I held my stomach asking God to send me signs and wonders because I didn’t know what was going on with me.
Why am I telling you my business?
Because while chasing success it happens. You won’t always be happy sometimes you will be unsure of what’s next.
I am in and out of meetings for possible movie deals and my daddy asked me one night when we had finished talking to a producer…he said, “What you wanna do?”
Now, if you know me you know that I let my daddy handle a lot of things for me, because he’s a freaking genius. I haven’t seen my father make too many mistakes, really none that I know of. So many people go to him for counsel, I just consider myself the lucky one lol.
I said it is whatever you want to do idk daddy.
He said nah you wrote this book what do you wanna do who do you want to work with.
Netflix was on the table and you know Netflix is cool but I knew that my book was more than Netflix.
So immediately, I made the decision to not settle, to go for the big leagues. I see my book on movie tickets across the world; I believe that with everything in me.
What is the EAT PRAY LOVE JOURNEY?
It’s you and you only
Now for me, I deleted Facebook because that’s where I spent the majority of my time so that went first, then I left my boyfriend for a few weeks because I just needed to be alone. Then I turned my phone off, I have two cell phones so I turned my main one off and left it off for days…
I prayed but I’ll be honest I could have prayed more being that I’m still doing my journey I should be praying more.
I had one drink during this journey but I won’t have another
I’m not eating after eight pm
And I read, I’m reading so many different books right now it’s crazy but its pushing my thoughts its making me stronger.
I’m studying documentaries; I’m watching movies expanding my craft.
And my favorite thing to do, I’m writing
I’m writing my best work and man it feels so good to write without the pressure of life and reality.
When you’re an author and I’m speaking for myself since I know people that write books read my blogs.
But when you’re trying to win and write a book that you want new and old readers to love, when you’re trying to write to prove yourself or whatever reason you write….just insert that here.
When you’re writing and then you’re on social media and you see book covers, writing updates, etc it can do three things, make you go harder, distract you or make you envious. Keep it one hundred with yourself.
Ok let me say this because I’m real and probably one of the realest people I know, these things affect your work. No matter how hard you try to stay in your own lane you can’t ignore a status, especially when the majority of the people you’re friends with are in whatever career field you’re in.
I wanted to get back to the NAKO before any of this mattered, ranks, reviews, credentials, accolades…I wanted to find the me who wrote because she loved to write and that was more fun to her than going out.
That’s the NAKO I wanted to sit down and talk too.
I missed her so much, that glimmer in my eye had left, my zealous spirit had went away, the joy inside of me drained out.
I found myself on my phone more and more and I was like girl delete the app and that’s what I did and it was the best thing I could have ever done.
My new book is POPPING, no lie in fact my next three books are popping
I’m focused, I’m grinding.
It’s an amazing feeling to get your mojo back
I can’t keep up with nobody and they can’t keep up with me.
My eat pray love journey has been designed by me for me so do whats best for you
Maybe you’re happy and content where you are, if so that’s amazing.
But me, lol I’m waiting to clearly hear from God
I’m waiting on some call backs, some employment opportunities to fall through, some contracts to be negioated.
I’m launching two businesses, working on a self-empowerment book, creating a home goods line and tons of other things so there is no time for me to downing myself and giving up.
My EAT PRAY LOVE JOURNEY IS A EVENT.
I have given myself until Jan 1 to rid myself of any fears, negativities, insecurities, setbacks. I gotta get my mind together! How am I claiming MOGUL and CHANGING THE WORLD ONE BOOK AT A TIME and I cry every time things don’t go my way.
That’s not what’s happening
If you didn’t get anything out of this go watch the movie and read the book
I’m aspiring to inspire myself
I am my biggest critic and competition
I am the love of my life.
Without anyone in my life, I still got me
Sometimes we end up at a crossroad and we’re scared to move forward, in fear of failure so we stay where we are but where I am I’m not growing, I don’t see anything else happening for me in this place and it’s too much I want to do….. so during my EAT PRAY LOVE journey, I’m waiting on some moves to be made and hopefully about time you read this…depending on when I upload I’ll have some good news to share.