the ROSE that grew from concrete
Okay before I go into my rant for today, I would like for you to read something that was written about me and when I read it I was like “Whoa” this is about me. it caused me to turn the music I was listening to all the way down and honestly, I’ve been kind of down in the dumps ever since…but why…..let’s talk about it after you read the email.
Thank you Glenda! Nakoreya is the epitome of a 'change agent'. She's a natural being her parents are both highly successful entrepreneurs that got their start in the Atlanta music industry. As a student at Jackson State University, Nakoreya has been involved in several organizations, however, her greatest accomplishment was creating the mentorship program, Molding Girls into Jacksonian Woman at her Alma Mater. With all the negative media influences about Black women that leave an indelible impression upon the younger generation, she saw a need for young women to be challenged. She encouraged freshmen girls to discover poise, style and grace.
When she was a freshman she was faced with finding herself after becoming lost in her new-found freedoms in college that led to her losing focus on her school work, hanging with the wrong friends and getting involved in relationships that chipped away at her self-worth and self esteem. It was by overcoming these challenges through blogging and attending church that inspired her to become a mentor. What started off as a small committee with less than 25 members is now an illustrious organization with more than 300 members. Although, Nakoreya has stepped down to pursue other aspirations she still holds Essence of a Lady Tiger near and dear to her heart.
Her Author's fan-page on Facebook has grown to a community of women that not only fiercely support her work but they also fiercely and loving protect, serve and encourage one another. It's quite refreshing to see how these women who only know each other digitally have created a community that extends into real friendships, prayer partners/accountability partners and overall personal cheerleaders and confidants. It's obvious to anyone paying attention, Nakoreya is 'The Alchemist' where ever she goes making life a little sweeter than she found it.
I chose the title, “The Rose that grew from concrete” because not only is it one of my favorite poems but because for the year of 2015 that’s really how I felt. It was my year of removing bondage and I stopped allowing my past to dictate my thoughts and actions. so why on the 6th of January in a brand new year am I so in my feelings?
It’s like come on! I thought we already tackled this issue nakoreya, we’ve already prayed about this. Why are we here again?
That man know he can come and mess good things up.
That pleasant email written on my behalf should have sent me down the street doing the cartwheels but it didn’t, it made me question my purpose and what was I really doing with my life. I struggle with security on a daily basis, always wondering about the what ifs and the what nots.
I care so much about the future to the point where I think im going to end up driving myself crazy. I truly desire a care-free life and mindset, I think all day every day. it’s making me delusional.
Even with my newest release, Please Catch My Soul, man I worked so hard on that book, research was done, prayers went up, I rewrote so many of the scenes to pull readers in. I had that book test read by so many different people, something that I don’t normally do. I went back and forth with the storyline because it wasn’t urban. I don’t desire to be an urban author, I’m more interested in becoming a contemporary author that all races can relate too. So this book meant more to me than any other book because it was my girl you can do this book. It was my I got this and I will not fail book.
So why am I now mad that I have 5 star reviews? Lol because im crazy lol but no serious, now I’m really feeling the pressure to exceed and make every book better than this one. I’ve been staring at “chapter 8” for two days now wondering if the seven chapters before it are good enough to proceed with closing the book out. ive been second guessing every thing I write and every decision I make and again…we’re only six days into the new year. What’s going on?
I talked to my publicist yesterday for awhile and I told her, I said I’m feeling anxious and nervous and I don’t know why.
She told me that this was my break-out year and then the day before that my mother prayed with me and we discussed moving forward and pressing forward. So everything is being aligned in my favor.
I truly believe that I’m the one holding myself back, my past, my fears, my failures…it’s holding me back from pressing forward.
The “what will they think”, the “who does she think she is?” is on my mental and I wish to not care but I do, I know it’s some friends I’m not cool with anymore probably rolling their eyes at me like bitch please we know the real you
But then the question is, “did you really?” am I not allowed to grow? Am I not allowed to change.
The biggest problem I have with “friends” and this is the reason why I don’t have that many anymore, it’s always okay when you’re doing better than them..it’s always okay when they’re making good money, taking trips with their boyfriends, accomplishing their goals…it’s okay then right?
But then when everybody is winning, then it’s a problem and the conflict arises.
Even in this industry that I’m in, I see that around me. it’s like it’s not enough room for us all to win and become millionaires but why? Like why man?
I hate it and I see it happening around me, so what am I doing…pushing myself farther to the wall like a child in PE who doesn’t want to play dodgeball.
Nakoreya isn’t the Nakoreya she was two years ago, so yes I’ve changed, yes I work hard, yes I’m grinding, and no, I won’t continue to make apologies for switching up and getting my shit together. I can’t even begin to tell you how lost I was, how wild I was, how out of order I was. My growth speaks for me, the struggle was real.
Before I close this out, let me tell you this, on Christmas Day we had a dinner for my mother’s birthday, Ming Lee was there.. most people knew who she is, If you don’t she’s a marketing genius.
So she knows I write books blah blah blah so somehow we ended up left in the room alone and we got to talking and HONEYYYYYYYYYYYY did I not get my life that day.
I was able to ask her any and everything I wanted too and she gave me some of the best advice of my life, business and personal.
I told her I said, “I love how you’re still rocking with the same people you were from the beginning”
She said, “not lately but you know what….it happens” she said, “people really don’t want to see you doing better than them and it’s sad”
And so we talked some more and in short, the conversation was the bomb.com and I love her even more now after that because she kept it real with me on so many different levels and im excited to see how much further she goes this year.
That conversation stuck with me , because I’m full of ideas and business ventures and I find myself wanting to launch them then I get scared , even on yesterday I posted the cover to the self-help book im working and minutes later I deleted it because I began to panic. It was like, who am I to write a book thinking I can help folks? And everybody started texting me like why you delete it, I love it.
And I’m like it’s not the time….
The Rose that grew from concrete.
Every time I hear that title I think harder and harder, am I the rose yet?
Or am I still like a butterfly waiting to shed its cocoon.
Am I “really” ready to walk into my purpose?
I declare and decree 2016 to be the year of moving forward and controlling my destiny.
2016 is mine and it’s yours too.
God wants to see us reach our maximum potential.
I’m on the radar for a BLACK GIRLS ROCK AWARD and it’s been two days since I got the news and I’ve literally been in a daze since I found out…
I pray that I stop letting my past haunt me.
The Rose That Grew From Concrete.