EAT.PRAY.LOVE. VOL 3.
*maybe a lil emotional I been in my feelings lately* - disclaimer
I hope all is well
I pray that as the holidays quickly approach you are welcoming the spirit of gratitude into your home and your hearts.
Please read this blog carefully.
I believe that life happens for a reason, I am a firm believer in faith and trusting God’s timing.
And God is good.
Despite the recent news being delivered to my family, GOD IS STILL GOOD.
We thank Him everyday.
We aren’t necessarily smiling all day but we are in good spirits.
I’m not saying my family is perfect….nooooooooooooooo not by a long shot we are perfect.
But we are solid, we are a very close-knit family.
My mom is my best friend and my daddy is too.
Me, my sister and my brother are all very close as well.
Im the oldest at 23, my sister is 21, my brother is 18.
My mom is 41 and my daddy is 45.
So imagine how we felt hearing that my very healthy and active mother was diagnosed with cancer.
I was like, ‘wait what’
In fact, I never stepped foot in the hospital all day after my sister told me the news I peeled off and went home to cry my eyes out.
I couldn’t stop crying and throwing up, this was the worst day of my life.
I questioned God because we had been faithful.
We have been the lenders, the givers, the blessed.
We have given back our time to the community and to the less fortunate.
We didn’t talk about people, we didn’t judge we stayed in our little circle.
So I didn’t understand why we were being punished.
On my knees I cried out to God asking him WHY
WHY was he taking us through this.
My mom is born on Christmas so right after Thanksgiving we prepared the house with Christmas decorations and counting down to her born day but this year we will be preparing for Chemo.
I didn’t understand how our plans were wrecked so suddenly.
In January, me, mom and my sister were kicking the new year off in Jamaica but then we learned that may not be happening either.
When I say our lives have been turned upside down….boy…
Our family is very independent our parents raised us to be independent.
People used to laugh when I told them I was washing clothes, cooking and ironing in the 3rd grade.
My parents both were running successful businesses, my dad is a producer and owns his own record company and my mother a lifestyle real estate agent so the whole help with homework thing they didn’t do.
When it was time to apply for colleges and do tours I handled all of that on my own.
My parents raised us to be self-sufficient.
Me and my sister had savings accounts in the 7th grade, yall not hearing me.
We both had LLCs by 16.
My parents ain’t play no games.
We had land in our names at the age of 5.
So now….now that the tables are turned I find myself crying every single day.
Idon’t know how to feel.
I don’t know how to react.
I cant even believe this.
Seeing after my mama is something I do with joy but to know that no less then a month ago….not even 3 weeks she was going to the bathroom by herself, taking her own baths, making her own tea…..it breaks my heart.
It hurts me so bad.
To even now when I don’t cry every 4 hours or so I’m celebrating.
I pray that God mends my broken heart, I pray that He sticks with me through this very trying time.
I entitled this blog EAT PRAY LOVE VOLUME 3
Because technically I’m supposed to be just getting back from my journey in London but my mother being sick caused me to cut my trip short.
I entitled this blog EAT PRAY LOVE because life is short and I highly encourage everyone to continue to love, eat and most importantly pray.
We never know when God is coming back.
We don’t know the time nor the hour so you better get your life together.
I truly believe that God is trying to teach me and my family something, I’m still unsure of what it is but I know in due time it will be revealed.
Sometimes God has to wreck our plans to get our attention.
And maybe just maybe our family took our eye off of HIM.
Yesterday, my brother rededicated his life back to God.
It had been years since he went to church for something other then a funeral so I rejoiced yesterday.
I know that God is shifting things around and I trust that it’s all for the greater good.
I encourage you to stay focused, to pray more and worry less and give it to God.
I don’t want to hear another person complain about something.
Life is short and I realize that now more then ever.
I’m not myself these days but I know that I’ll slowly get back right soon.
If it’s not too much to ask please keep my family in your prayers.
We are taking this thing one day at a time.
I’m on and off social media simply because ain’t nothing happening on social media anyway.
I’m trying to keep my mind free from distraction and negativity as much as possible.
And yes, RESENTMENT is coming.
Thank you for being patient