I’m really freaking happy.
So first let me begin with this, today’s date is September 18, 2016.
I just left church and today I joined the church that I’ve been attending since I moved back to Atlanta.
I wasn’t planning on joining today I didn’t even plan on going but I knew that I needed an on-time word to tackle the very busy week that I ahead of me and oh boy, I’m so glad I pressed my way.
I’ll share a few notes with you because they blessed my spirit.
We must have 3 types of faith – fearless, fruitful and flexible.
You can’t have faith and be fearful
Fruitful faith is beneficial faith
God wants to bend you – is your faith flexible.
my pastor also said this today and boy I almost ran around that church – stop fighting for what God has already promised you!
read these scriptures in your spare time – psalm 23:4, psalms 23:5, psalms 27:1, john 11:43, john 6:9, proverbs 13:22, genesis 5:18-25, genesis 5:24, Hebrews 11:5-7
okay so now that I got that out, moving right along.
I can’t really explain where I am right now, sometimes I feel like the more steps I take to move forward something…something so small knocks me right back down but I’m here to tell you that life happens to us all, it’s how you keep pushing through and overcome those little small things.
That’s what matters the most.
I’m an author and as much as I enjoy writing books I love journaling just as much.
Prior to preparing for #samplesunday I discovered a journal entry that I wrote write after stranger in my eyes dropped.
I’ll share that below:
It’s so amazing how the number seven represents completion but then you get to number eight and it stands for new beginnings.
After doing research on both of these numbers, it caused me to stop, think, and realize just how magnificent God is.
Right when we think something has ended…something new is happening.
After publishing my 25th book just last month, I was left feeling empty…if I am allowed to be honest today.
I was left feeling like “Okay what now”
True enough, I have about fourteen unfinished books and my schedule for 2016 is full along with the first half of 2017 but still…I was like ‘what do I do now’
I literally had surpassed my own expectations, goals, and prayers that I set for myself…so now what?
No, I’m not tired of writing.
And no, I’m not dealing with writer’s block. I simply wanted to know what was next for me.
Where I am now in life, I’m scared of getting comfortable. I appreciate being challenged as often as possible. Which is why I’m so hard on myself. I push myself every day to do more than I did the day before and to better then who I was.
I’m never okay with being mediocre.
It’s my personal mission in life to be the best woman, friend, business owner and person that I can be.
Yeah…we all have flaws and no one’s perfect but I don’t want to wear a mask.
(If you haven’t read Stranger In My Eyes check it out!)
This morning I woke up and simply thanked God…for where I am, where I’m going…who I was…whom I am now. A simple thank you for new beginnings was my morning prayer.
With everything around me moving at full-pace, I felt compelled to step back and breathe.
To get back in tune with whom I was as a person and what made me smile and laugh outside of working extensive hours throughout the day.
It’s nothing wrong with working a lot and chasing your dreams…trust me I am a living witness but life is short and in doing so, in walking in excellence, one must remember to laugh and breathe.
Those were my thoughts about two months ago, so now that were in present time, let me say this…..
I entitled this blog, “Blood Sweat and Fears” okay first let me back up a lil’ bit, one of spiritual sisters sends me scriptures, notes, sermons all of the time and I swear God sent her to me. The sermons are always on time I swear.
So, I watched the sermon the next day because when she sent it I was working so I waited until the next morning after meditation to watch it and at first, I was making coffee, cleaning my kitchen and doing everything except really listening and tuning into the Word.
The sermon is Blood Sweat and Fears on YouTube preached by Sarah Jakes Roberts – check it out.
The sermon was right on time for everything I was currently feeling and that was fear.
It’s crazy because I was literally putting blood and sweat in my work – and was still being fearful about my career.
I was worried, pressed and stressed because I was ready for more.
I hate to get comfortable, oh man, I hate it so much.
I never want to stay in one place mentally for too long and nothing was exciting or challenging me anymore and it caused me to become fearful.
Blood Sweat and Fears – where I am now I won’t be forever.
It’s like the more I grow, the more I see, if that makes sense.
The more I grow, the more I hear, if that makes sense.
I’m making better and smarter decisions, everything is calculated and recalculated twice.
The old is me left behind and I’m finding my peace of mind – word to Lauryn.
Sometimes out of fear, we go back to things that are familiar.
Because I pride myself on being honest Ima keep it real with readers of The Passport.
That ex…the one I cried and was losing my mind over…yeah him…. (rolls my eyes)
He somehow slithered his way back in and what’s sad is the nigga didn’t even last two months.
It’s crazy because I had finally moved on, finally found my happiness and peace without him and even had begun dating someone else and he was an amazing person.
My ex sent one text and was able to get me back – foolish decision but it’s a lesson learned, Lord Jesus it’s a lesson learned.
I’m not even sad I can’t do anything but pray for this to pass on over so I can get back to me and a wiser me.
Blood Sweat and Fears.
Today I want to encourage someone to press forward, to smile, to be happy, to be free.
I had someone tell me last night, “Your husband won’t be a distraction”
My ex is the damn devil and was a huge DISTRACTION.
The other guy I was kicking it with was understanding and supportive but shit happens so I can’t dwell on it.
Blood Sweat and Fears.
I’m anticipating this next chapter of life as I prepare to travel to London and look at places.
It’s my goal to spend 6 months in LONDON writinga movie and a masterpiece.
I don’t want to come back until my eat pray love journey is complete.
Blood Sweat and Fears.
What’s holding you back from becoming the woman you know you want to be, the woman you have the potential to be, the woman you dream to be.
I don’t know a woman alive that has experienced as much heartbreak as me and I think that’s why I write about it so freely, it’s truly therapy for me and you’ll definitely understand what I’m saying once RESENTMENT is released.
Love is beautiful and love doesn’t hurt, kill or destroy.
And I can’t keep feeling destroyed by the same person over and over again.
Love is supposed to be free not hidden and concealed.
Love is supposed to love you back.
Blood Sweat and Fears
I’m writing my best work right now what are you doing?
I’ve met every goal on my 2016 vision board minus losing 50 pounds but I’ll be back in the gym come Monday morning.
Blood Sweat and Fears
Can I challenge you to get on it?
Finish this year strong.
I know this blog is all over the place and I think this one right here was more for me then you.
Journaling is healing.
Journaling keeps me.