The Day After Redemption

Book 29.

How did I even get here so fast?

I do consider it a MAJOR blessing, one that I wasn’t expecting at all.

When I finished book 29, I immediately closed my laptop and  tucked it away, knowing I was in desperate need of a break.

In RESENTMENT,  I was wrapped up in lust. I was Lauren.

In REDEMPTION, although me and my “Nas” had made things official and he decided that me was who he wanted to be with, I still was Lauren.

After I removed the relationship woes that Lauren was always going through, I was still her.

Lauren Howard is a strong woman.

Despite how many people may feel about her, she’s noble.

She’s full of resilience.

Lauren has been used, hurt, abused, mistreated, talked down too, talked about, ridiculed, casted out…..and still….she stands.

I am Lauren.

After getting her heart broke one too many times she stopped making it a priority.

When she let go of the “I need a man to be happy” mindset she blossomed into a beautiful butterfly.

This is what I had to understand and now that everything is everything and I get to wake up to what I do believe is the love of my life, it doesn’t make or break me.

Without giving the story away, once Lauren focused on becoming a better person, going higher in her career and walking in her passion. The things she always wanted came to her naturally.

The day after Redemption was a few days ago but because I can only write when I’m led to I had to wait to pen this stamp.

Redemption drops this week and as always I’m nervous as hell.

Reviews scare me and I value my readers opinion.

 So I’m never excited to drop a book, I’m always anticipating how people will receive me.

On last Thursday I had the pleasure of being amongst beautiful black women. Women that read my books and loved my books.

Man that was one blessed night.

From when I walked in and everyone said my name as if I was someone important lol.

To the comments that people had on The Underworld and of course the infamous Farren Knight.

I was in awe.

I was speechless at the love and most importantly the support.

You know, I’m one of those “oh for real” kind of people. So when the women shared their stories of love and overcoming dark storms through reading stories of Nia Hudson, Freedom Anderson and then my favorite debate of Lauren and Jordyn… I had big eyes and constantly saying, “oh for real”

I’m humbled by the changes of women of color simply from reading books.

It challenges me, humbles me, inspires me, and ultimately is the push I need to keep going on days where I’m very weary.

D.C. was exactly what I needed to get it together.

Currently, I’m revamping my brand, refocusing on what is it I love to do and why I love to do it.

I made the decision to separate myself from everything that I was involved in at the time and while I was worried about the shift I’m actually embracing it now.

My mind isn’t all over the place and to me that’s a good thing.

Initially, I started writing as a form of therapy and over time, when the money started coming it became a business…a brand…a way to pay bills and fund trips.


This book, book 29 did it for me.

It reminded me that writing is my first love.

It’s my joy.

It’s more than a six figure check.

It’s more than another hit on the charts.

It peace me.

I pray that you feel that burning passion and desire as you flip the pages of your kindle.

I pray that you connect with at least one character even if it’s not Lauren.

Today, me and my mother had a heart felt conversation as we always do.

She had just gotten out of church and I was wrapping up a praise and worship session in my kitchen when she phoned me.

I shared with her how good God is and how blessed me and my family really are.

This morning when I woke up my heart was a tad bit heavy if I must admit.

Due to the fact that we get the results back from my mama’s cat scan tomorrow to see if the chemo is working and I’m just nervous.

I don’t want to think the worst. I don’t want to think oh she’s going to die in 6 months. I don’t even wanna think like that but I shared with her that I was so nervous and couldn’t get it together for nothing this morning.

She immediately  began to speak  joy into me and we claimed good news in advance.

So as the conversation progressed, we both are in a place of prosperity and so I said, “mama I’ve had two successful years of writing, this is my third. Sometimes I feel like this is it for me”

She admitted that she felt the same in real estate. Last year, she sold the second most expensive home in Georgia and so basically she had met her financial goal basically for LIFE.

If she never sold another house she would be good. But who wants to become complacent? Not us.

I told her that I didn’t really have an idea what I was going to do after the underworld.

I’m on the last four books and I’m like what’s next for me?

Do I go back to school? Do I get a job?

Do I tuck every penny under the mattress just in case my next few books don’t do well after the underworld.

You know this has been my worry….what I’ve wondered about.


Redemption is defined as the action of saving or being saved from sin, error or evil.

 The second installment of RESENTMENT is REDEMPTION.

This definition holds so much weight and you’ll see this as you read the book.

Redemption is also defined as the action of regaining or gaining possession of something, in exchange for payment or clearing a debt.

I was so in love as I wrote this book it was RIDICOLOUS.

 In January things shifted in a major way for me and my lover and three months later I’m still oncloud nine.

You ever made love every day for like two weeks straight? Jesus Lord!

I’ve been on a natural high that I honestly can’t put into words and I’m a writer….LOL.


This book to me was like a Wednesday, you know hump day.

This book got me together.

It reminded me that where I am, I’m here for a reason.

March wasn’t a good month for me.

I blocked a LOT of people.

I removed myself from a lot of situations and in return, it placed more on my heart than it did when I was in those places.

How crazy is that?

I’m in this weird but wonderful…place in my head where things don’t really make sense right now but that’s okay with me because I’m embracing it…slowly.

The thing about God and faith is that you have to trust the journey.

I told my mother today, God has so much more in store for us.

We haven’t even seen the manifestation.

It hasn’t began to surface.

In life, we gotta keep striving.

You accomplishing your goals okay cool…create some new ones.

I told myself this morning – stay at the drawing board.

Keep drawing.

Keep putting in that work.

I texted my editor yesterday and said I’ll have my next book to you on Friday and then another to you in two weeks.

She couldn’t  even believe me but she will when she get that email.

It’s a no days offthing going on for me right now.


Saved from sin, error, or evil.

What is holding you back.

What are you holding on to.

What is keeping you from being where you wanna be

I thank God for my characters.

Lauren redeemed me when I finished this book.

And Jordyn did too.

Although, she stayed.

She stayed with a purpose.

So don’t count her out so soon.


I believe that my mother’s cancer is my family’s testimony.

In my heart I believe that it’s saving us ,it’s keeping us together.

 We aren’t perfect, my parents aren’t perfect, none of us are.

We’re flawed.

We holding in some secrets that ain’t nobody’s business but we have a testimony.

My mama is so amazing, I often think about her and get tears in my eyes just on the conversations that we have alone.

I love her more than I love myself and will gladly give her any part of me if I could.

She’s so strong and she’s so spirited.

I wanted to cry to her today but she wouldn’t let me.

We encouraged each other on that phone.


It brings me so much joy to finish another book and the book took something from me.

I never want to write anything that yall can’t feel, that yall can’t grow from.

It’s always my goal to get you together while I get myself together.

I’m a work in progress.

I often make mistakes and sometimes the wrong decisions.

But I thank God for discernment.


 We have to learn how to keep ourselves on track, focused and our life prioritized.

It should be mandatory to live a productive life.

Lauren taught me that.

Lauren taught me to be my friend.

To be my self.

To embrace who I am.

I’m not insecure, I’m not that girl…but I have some insecure ways, as we all do.

I want to be the best writer I can be, and sometimes I’m hard on myself when I don’t feel as if I did my best.

But with REDEMPTION, it’s good.


It’s a great book and I’m proud of it.

I hope that you enjoy it just as much as I did writing it and I know sometimes my stamps are all over the place it’s because my mind is that way.

In closing, the day after REDEMPTION was a beautiful day.

Me and my mama went to the spa, had champagne, got our makeup done and turnt all the way UP.

We held hands and danced together, we got away at a hotel in downtown ATLANTA.

And I remember her telling me that next morning that she loved me and was proud of me.

I asked her opinion on how I ended the book and she said how do you feel baby and I told her….

I felt that I did what was best but my readers….they get so mad…

She shook her head and said, I asked how do you feel.

And I told her I feel free.

The story ended and began at the same time.

That’s something you wont understand until you read it andyou’ll be reading it very soon.

Watch out for those lemons.