I'll Teach You

I’ll Teach You… 

It is often said that self-love is taught. And this is largely true. After all, don’t we teach ourselves how to love ourselves? At least, that’s what we’re supposed to do. After God, aren’t we the ones that are next in line to teach ourselves unconditional love? Aren’t we supposed to teach ourselves the true meaning of love and how to love ourselves without limits? Many could probably easily agree with these statements. But how many of us actually truly teach ourselves self-love?


Self-love by definition is: regard for one's own well-being and happiness. I tend to focus on the word ‘regard’ in this definition. Regard: attention to or concern for something. In this instance, my regard for myself…my attention or concern for myself. This attention to myself won’t allow me to settle in any aspects of my life. We teach others how to love us, how to treat us and how to behave towards us. And this is where self-love becomes important. Because how can we accept love or notice real love if we first don’t love ourselves? How can we expect others to treat us in a way that we don’t treat ourselves?


Now, self-love and self-care can be used in relation to each other. Self-love forces you to self-care. We can’t be so focused on others that we forget ourselves and fail to properly self-care. Self-love is our mental reminder to always take care of self FIRST. Good self-care produces healthy self-love.


You’ve heard the phrase self-love is the best love, and I can attest to the fact that this is true. When we love ourselves, truly, TRULY love ourselves, nothing or anyone will ever be able to penetrate or shatter that love. Self-love won’t allow us to accept anything less than what we deserve. Self-love wouldn’t allow us to be treated with less than the respect that we give ourselves. Self-love allows us to recognize love that is given to us, that is parallel to the self-love that we give ourselves. Self-love allows me to know who I really am and want I really want.


Make no mistake, I wasn’t always this confident or even possessed this unconditional love for myself. Nope, I had to build up to this point. I can’t say that there was any one thing that didn’t allow me to unconditionally love myself. But I can say that I experienced a lot of heartache and pain because I lacked that self-love. I stayed in relationships/friendships because I loved them more than I loved me. Which is not a good way to operate in putting others before youself. They drained me. And I allowed them to. The love for them outweighed the love I had for myself. And it began to be toxic. I began to accept behaviors that were unacceptable. I began to accept that I was receiving less than I was putting out. I was teaching them that I love you more than I love myself and I’m willing to allow you give me less than I deserve. But then I woke up. And it clicked…In order to teach you, I have to first teach myself.


Self-love won’t allow me to knowingly let you break my heart.


Self-love won’t allow me to accept behaviors from you that I know I shouldn’t have to deal with.


Self-love won’t allow me to let you treat me less than I treat myself.


Self-love won’t allow me to let you disrespect me.


Self-love will not allow me to receive less than I am putting out.


Self-love…will NOT allow me to settle for less than I deserve.


Self-love will not allow me to let you love me with limits…….


But I’ll teach you…I’ll teach you how to love me through loving myself. I’ll teach you how to love me in a way that I’m deserving of. I’ll teach you how to respect me and treat me by exuding the love that I have for myself onto you. I’ll teach you how to recognize the love I have for myself and know that I’m deserving of receiving the same kind of love from you. I’ll teach you….the blueprint of how to love me.


~Missy Walker